


Gods and Monsters

by joidianne4eva



Series: Dreams [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2018-02-10 19:44:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2037624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joidianne4eva/pseuds/joidianne4eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gaara was ten the first time he heard the voice. </p><p>The fact that it happened so quickly on the heels of his last mission made him suspicious but he knew that none of the shinobi had had enough time to cast a ninjutsu before the sand devoured them. </p><p>That didn’t change the fact that there was a voice in his head that was neither his own nor Shukaku’s.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbeta'd and I'm just getting back into the fandom so any mistakes are my own.

Gaara was ten the first time he heard the voice.

The fact that it happened so quickly on the heels of his last mission made him suspicious but he knew that none of the shinobi had had enough time to cast a ninjutsu before the sand devoured them.

That didn’t change the fact that there was a voice in his head that was neither his own nor Shukaku’s.

**_“Food, food, food.”_ **

Gaara frowned as the mantra ebbed and flowed as if the person was moving in and out of hearing range.

In the back of Gaara’s mind Shukaku stirred, obviously curious about this new presence.

 ** _“Ramen!”_** the voice exclaimed and Gaara scowled because beneath the superficial hunger that the person was trying to satisfy there was something more primal…a need that Gaara understood well.

**_“Ramen, ramen, ramen,”_ **

Gaara’s frown darkened into a scowl.

Was this person so oblivious that they didn’t realize that this _ramen_ wouldn’t be enough to satisfy the hunger?

Even Gaara could feel the tendrils of something _other_ , seeping into the person’s thoughts and it made Shukaku claw at the barriers keeping it separated from Gaara’s own mind.

Before Gaara knew it he was on his feet and moving, ignoring the surprised gasp from the shinobi that his father had sent to watch other him.

He didn’t know the person in his head but Gaara would provide the sustenance they both needed if only to make the unknown presence cease speaking.

It was enough that he had to deal with his own bloodlust, dealing with another’s as well might very well shatter what was left of his fragile psyche.

Doing his best to ignore Shukaku’s maddening cackles, Gaara let the sand slither from his gourd, racing out before him to find a target…to find _food._

*O*

There wasn’t much for Gaara to do in his village even less when one considered his insomnia which led to hours of boredom which often gave way to rage.

A part of him didn’t understand why he forced himself to stay awake because of Shukaku’s threats. After all, none of the villagers cared about him so why was he concerned about their welfare?

The answer was quite simple.

Gaara didn’t care.

He would gladly consume anyone, civilian or shinobi, the only thing that held him back was the idea of the loss of control that would come with his slumber.

It was amusing that not even his father had realised that most of Gaara’s targets were specifically selected either because of their words, behaviour or past attitudes.

Gaara didn't forgive and he most certainly wouldn't forget…a fact that seemed to escape many of the residents of his village.

**_“I don’t need any friends!”_ **

The vehement statement ricocheted around Gaara’s head and he stiffened almost unnoticeably.

The voice had been silent for days and Gaara had come to the conclusion that it had been another of Shukaku’s games despite the tanuki’s vehement denial. After all, Shukaku had pretended to be the voice of his mother for longer than Gaara could truly remember so he wasn’t going to be quick to believe anything that the creature told him.

**_“It wasn’t even my fault but the old man won’t ever believe me,”_ **

The words were followed by a ghost pain that snaked through Gaara’s arm and had his sand rising as it tried to pinpoint their attacker but Gaara wasn’t the one hurt….wasn’t the one truly in pain and he tried to focus, pulling at the voice until it grew louder.

He could feel cool air ghosting across his skin and his toes felt damp in his sandals. There was a moment of silence and then the pain reoccurred, this time in his right arm.

“ **Stop it!”**

The sensation made him angry because whoever this person was they were doing to themself and the words were out before Gaara could think better of it.

This time the silence that settled felt heavy like a cloak thrown over Gaara’s shoulders. He didn’t need words to know that the person had heard him.

**_“Hello?”_ **

The voice was tentative and Gaara considered not responding but this person didn’t know him, wasn’t afraid of him and the chance was too good for Gaara to pass up.

**“Why are you hurting yourself?”**

A hysterical laughter was the only answer to Gaara’s question and he would have growled in frustration if he hadn’t caught the tendrils of insecurity racing through the unknown person’s head.

 **“You’re not hearing things. I believe that this is the result of some unknown ninjutsu.”** Gaara explained though he wasn’t sure why he was trying to reassure the voice.

But then again Gaara had never had the opportunity to simply exist alongside another human being without feeling the urge to crush them so perhaps the shock of the situation was to blame for his reaction.

It was most likely the shock and not, as according to that tiny place in the back of his head, because Gaara was lonely too.

**_“You’re a shinobi? No, ignore that because you’re not supposed to tell me anything cause you don’t know if I’m an enemy nin but I’m gonna be a shinobi too, no matter what those bastards say, believe it!”_ **

Gaara’s lips twitched at the verbal assault, his face tensing, unsure of the unfamiliar sensation.

**“I was not going to offer you information but seeing as you are correct in assuming that I’m a shinobi, I will let you have that much.”**

There was a feeling of almost palpable awe that was quickly followed by even more uncertainty.

**_“I could shut up if you want? I mean I don’t want to be a nuisance,”_ **

The words felt familiar and well-worn as if they had been recited so many times that the person believed them to be true and Gaara wondered at that. Did this unknown individual not realise their potential? Could they not feel the alien chakra leaking into their very thoughts?

 **“You’re not a nuisance,”** Gaara responded finally as his thoughts settled.

If the person was like him, a monster like he was perhaps Gaara would be able to tolerate the voice’s presence.

 **“You’re doing that wrong,”** Gaara commented when he remembered the tendrils of pain still radiating up both of his arms and at the sense of confusion Gaara shoved his memory of other shinobi practicing their taijutsu, blurring the faces in his memory until all that remained were the basic moves.

There was another moment of silence before Gaara felt wood against his palms.

**_“I did it! Did you see that? I mean of course you didn’t see it but I did it like you showed me and it worked! Thank you!”_ **

The exhilaration beat against Gaara’s mind like waves lapping at a shore and he let himself settle as he felt the sensation of limbs hitting wood over and over.

As the feeling carried on, Gaara wondered what else he could teach his little monster.

In the back of his head Shukaku snorted at the title but Gaara just ignored it.

*O*

The voice was silent for the two weeks that Gaara was sent on his latest mission but he could feel it there in the back of his head, just beyond the tendrils of chakra that was Shukaku.

He’d felt it’s apprehension as Gaara consumed shinobi after shinobi, the tentative fingers of pleasure that it experienced when the sand lapped up the stray blood that had soaked into its surface, therefore Gaara wasn’t surprised when it initiated contact this time.

**_“You like hurting people,”_ **

The words weren’t an accusation, despite the fear that rolled across Gaara’s mind…fear that vanished as soon as he focused on it.

 **“I hurt those who would hurt me,”** he responded and there was a moment of pensive silence.

**_“Sometimes I dream about hurting the people who hurt me,”_ **

It was barely a whisper but it made Gaara smile because he’d seen the dreams. Seen fields of bodies with limbs torn asunder. Gaara had felt the bloodlust that rivalled his own bubbling beneath the perpetually happy surface that the voice’s owner showed the world.

 **“I don’t dream,”** Gaara responded and something like a chuckle echoed through Gaara’s mind.

 ** _“I wish I didn’t dream,”_** the voice responded and Gaara’s eyes narrowed as a single word floated into his mind, like a message in a bottle.

Before he could query the name, the voice retreated, leaving Gaara to wonder at this gift because that was what the name had been a gift from one monster to another.

“Names are precious things,” Gaara recited, he’d read the words somewhere once but he couldn’t recall where.

Temari must have heard his words because she glanced back at him but Gaara just narrowed his eyes at her until she spun around, leaving him to his thoughts.

His little monster had given him a name that Gaara could only assume was his own…the only polite answer was for Gaara to return the favour and while Gaara had never been accused of being polite since _that_ night, he could on occasions be merciful.

*O*

Knowledge was power, Gaara was well aware of that which was why he decided to dig into a topic that he’d never before truly considered despite its impact on his life.

It was surprisingly easy to find the supposed ‘hidden’ scroll that described the Jinchuriki. No one ever questioned his actions and as he didn’t have any upcoming missions Gaara doubted that they even noted his disappearance. Bypassing his own name and the sparse descriptions of the others, Gaara focused on the name that he was looking for.

Uzumaki Naruto, vessel of the nine-tailed fox.

Uzumaki wasn’t a common name but it seemed familiar to Gaara for some reason.

Shaking that away he narrowed his eyes as he read what had led to the fox’s capture.

It would seem that he and Naruto shared more than he’d realized at first. A question of parents, listed them as deceased and Gaara could only imagine what the other Jinchuriki had faced with no protection whatsoever from the scorn that their villages seemed to heap on the beasts’ vessels.

Shukaku stirred in Gaara’s mind and he could feel the tanuki skimming the information that bled from Gaara’s mind into the nothingness that served as Shukaku’s prison.

There was a brief hint of recognition before Shukaku retreated, leaving Gaara to his thoughts.

Kyuubi, the nine-tailed fox, locked inside a child that had no clue of what he carried because Gaara would have known if Naruto was aware of the beast’s presence….he was not.

Two children that their villages saw as monsters had by some stroke of fate been bound together by an unknown ninjutsu. It was almost inconceivable and yet it had happened.

Even now Gaara could feel Naruto’s presence, ebbing and flowing within his own mind. The child was asleep and Gaara was glad for the reprieve. Where his own emotions were muted shadows pasted on a blank wall unless he succumbed to his rage or hunger, Naruto felt everything vividly.

Every word of hatred, every look of scorn carved a hole in the happiness that the other tried to force to the surface and Gaara wondered how long it would take Naruto to break…to become like him.

At first the thought had given him a vindictive pleasure because why should he care about the destruction that Naruto would heap on the heads of the ones who had treated him so poorly but now….

Gaara could still see the words even as he closed his eyes ‘Parents: Deceased,’

Had Naruto even known their names or had he, like Gaara, been forced to create an illusion, an image of someone who had loved him in the hopes that it would make living easier?

Glancing up at the moon that hung heavily in the sky Gaara wondered when Naruto had become less of a source of possible entertainment and more of an actual person in Gaara’s mind.

*O*

 **“My name is Gaara.”** Gaara could feel Naruto’s surprise at his non sequitor but he could also feel Naruto’s happiness so Gaara supposed that he’d made the right decision. Gaara wasn’t certain but he believed that this was how people interacted with each other without the threat of impending death lingering over their head.

**_“Well you already know what my name is because I told you last time but it’s nice to finally have a name to go with the voice in my head….Gaara-chan.”_ **

Gaara’s entire body froze at the nickname and the sly undertone but he shoved the uncertainty away as his sand rattled in its gourd.

 **“Most people in my village do no use my name however you are free to do so,”** Gaara responded finally and he wasn’t surprised at Naruto’s next words.

**_“What do they call you?”_ **

**“Monster.”**

There was a discordant hum in Gaara’s head as the word settled between them.

**_“Heh, that’s funny cause I get called that too.”_ **

Despite the forced cheer Gaara could feel Naruto’s sorrow and it made his fingers tighten in anger because how dare they? Neither of them had asked for this burden, this curse and yet….

**_“But it doesn’t matter because one day I’m gonna be Hokage and then I’ll show them, believe it!”_ **

Gaara’s brows furrowed even though Naruto couldn’t see him. Why would the child want to be a Hokage, why would Naruto want to protect the very people who had hurt him…who were still hurting him?

The words must have bled through because he could feel Naruto’s amusement.

**_“Because if I don’t protect them, who’ll help the next kid like me? Just being a shinobi isn’t good enough. I need to be the best or they won’t listen to anything I say,”_ **

Gaara’s mind flashed to the moment that Naruto had told him about his dream but he didn’t mention it because even monsters could dream of being something other than what they were. It didn’t change their existence but was an escape of sorts.

Naruto could work towards being a Hokage while dreaming of massacring his village and Gaara would continue to exist because he had already made his nightmares into a reality.

*O*

Gaara’s correspondence with Naruto continued over the next two years and while Naruto was still adamant that he would become the next Hokage, Gaara could feel the boy’s rage at those around him growing steadily with each passing day.

There were moments when Gaara wondered why the ninjutsu hadn’t faded but he never voiced his thoughts because Naruto was the first person who had cared for him, not because of what he could give them but simply because Gaara was there.

**_“Gaara, if I wanted to run away would you come with me?”_ **

The words tore Gaara from his own thoughts and it was only then that he felt Naruto’s sorrow and pain leaking through the bond. The other Jinchuriki had gotten quite adept at hiding his emotions, something that Gaara was both thankful for and annoyed at.

**“Did you not make Genin?”**

Naruto didn’t respond and for a moment Gaara wondered if the bond was finally dissolving.

 ** _“Do you know about the nine-tailed fox?_** ”

 **“Do you know of the Shukaku?”** Gaara responded and this time Naruto’s silence was heavy but Gaara caught a glimpse of Shukaku’s tale in the boy’s memories.

**_“I guess they were right when they called us monsters,”_ **

**“Yes,”**

**_“So would you run away with me?”_** Naruto asked again and this time Gaara paused as he looked around his village.

From where he was perched he could see the villagers going about their business and he wondered how it would feel to never see them again, to never feel their scorn or hatred.

**“I won’t be able to teach you how to be a ninja. Shukaku’s skills are vastly different from what the nine-tailed fox is said to possess.”**

**_“But there are others like us, right? They can teach us!”_ **

The excitement in Naruto’s voice made Gaara scoff even as he rose to his feet.

**“Why would they teach monsters?”**

**_“Because they know how it feels to be one,”_ **

Gaara quirked a brow at that even as he sent Naruto a mental image of the land just beyond his village’s border.

**“If you are here by sundown, we will see about meeting these monster-teachers of yours,”**

**_“I’ll be there, believe it!”_** Naruto shot back and Gaara raised his hand as the connection quieted. The sand leapt upwards, eager to obey and soon another Gaara was standing before him.

“Tell them that if they look for me, I will kill them all.”

The sand-Gaara nodded as the original vanished.

*O*

Gaara heard Naruto before he saw him and he knew it was Naruto, could feel the way that the bond sung between them.

The blond paused eyeing Gaara suspiciously.

**_“Ne, Gaara-chan, is that you?”_ **

Gaara glowered at the other boy. “I told you to stop calling me that.”

Naruto’s lips stretched into a smile at his words. “You didn’t say you were a red-head,” he muttered, stumbling closer. “You didn’t say you looked like a girl either.”

Shukaku’s roaring laughter was drowned out by the Naruto’s shriek of fear when a wave of sand flattened him as Gaara spun on his heels and marched further into the foliage.

“That was a compliment!” Naruto spluttered as he raced after he redhead, finally catching up and matching stride while he tried to get the sand out his hair.

“Shut up or you won’t live long enough to become anything,” Gaara growled but Naruto just smirked and Gaara was starting to miss his old reputation.

After a moment of silence Gaara felt a sudden pressure against the sand that surrounded his hand and he glanced down only to see Naruto’s fingers tangled with his own.

When Naruto caught him looking he just shot Gaara a blinding smile. “Iruka said that love means never letting go, so I’m not gonna let go, believe it!”

For a second Gaara toyed with the thought of letting the sand crush Naruto’s hand but the thought was gone before it could even truly take root as the sand slithered from his skin, leaving it bare beneath Naruto’s touch.

Gaara had never truly experienced love but perhaps….

The thought trailed off as Naruto started to whine about being hungry and Gaara barely resisted the urge to swat the blond again.

*O*

Tsunade stared at the two nin in front of her.

Flaming red locks hung loose around the face of the smaller of the two but despite the colour of the shinobi’s hair, the green eyes that regarded her were as blank and cold as they’d been described by the few people the shinobi let leave his presence alive. 

At the ninja’s side, his taller companion was eying Tsunade with a shrewd grin. The shinobi’s hair was a riot of blond spikes but what caught Tsunade’s attention were the whisker marks that rested beneath his blue eyes.

“So, we heard you needed some help,” the blond greeted, like they hadn’t just broken into the Hokage’s office and incapacitated her Anbu.

“And the infamous Jinchuriki leaders are going to provide it?” Tsunade inquired, laying her cards on the table.

The blond shrugged, glancing at his companion. “Gaara-chan wanted some excitement,” the blond…Naruto, his name was Naruto, responded. “Plus, I kinda don’t want to be the last survivor of my village even if most of the people here hate me.”

“I would rather kill you all but Naruto is sentimental and as his partner, I’m bound by his wants,” the words were deadpan but Tsunade had heard enough about the two men that had managed to tame not only their own beasts but those of all the other Jinchuriki to know that he wasn’t joking.

“So do you want our help or not cause I really need to get back before the old pervert starts trying it on with the others again.”

Tsunade stared at the two of them and then she thought of what the council would say. The thought had her lips stretching into a smile.

“You know I’ve always wondered just how good you two are,” she responded and the blond scoffed.

“We’re the best……”

“If you say ‘believe it’ I will pour sand down your throat.” Gaara growled but Naruto just winked at him as he turned back to Tsunade.

“So when do we start?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who better to teach a monster than a monster?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each chapter will be a stand alone snapshot of the boys' lives with the individual stories serving as interludes.

“Do you think, Yugito-san was right about the chūnin exam?”

Naruto’s voice pulled Gaara from the lull that his mind often fell into while watching the other boy train.

Blinking slowly, he pushed away the few drowsy pulses of Shukaku’s chakra before focusing on his companion.

Naruto was breathing heavily, his skin and clothing soaked with sweat and there was the lingering crackle of Kyuubi’s chakra in the air which meant he’d probably been practicing for far longer than he should have been.

Obviously misunderstanding Gaara’s silence, Naruto continued.

“She said she could be our team head, remember?  Even if it’s unofficial and we don’t really need a three person team.”

Gaara cocked his head, considering the proposal. They’d hit a lull while they waited to master the new jutsu that Yugito had taught them. They couldn’t move on to finding the three-tailed beast’s Jinchuriki until Yugito had deemed them strong enough and while that made a part of Gaara rankle, he was grateful for the added peace that came with the presence of the other two Jinchuriki.

Naruto scratched at his nose as he watched Gaara.

“I know it’s stupid but I want to try. I want them to see I didn’t get my headband just because Iruka-sensei felt sorry for me. I want them to see that I’m gonna be great.”

Gaara nodded, “Fine.”

Naruto’s eyes widened at the response, “Yeah? I mean, yeah, we’re going to be chūnin!”

“Not if you don’t study,” Yugito called from her perch in the tree behind Naruto and the way that the blond jumped, trying to twist himself towards the voice and away from any threat ended with Naruto face down in the dirt and Shukaku cackling in Gaara’s head.

*O*

The thing about Naruto was that despite his incredible luck, he rarely thought through his course of action before he threw himself into it.

In another life that would have only have been a problem for Naruto but Gaara had learned how well Naruto’s smiles hid his fears. Feeling them resonate through his own head made Gaara want to track down every single person who had hurt Naruto and tear them apart.

Yugito’s challenge had been simple yet perfect especially for Naruto.

She’d identified the blond’s most prominent weakness and pulled it to the fore. Gaara wasn’t surprised either as even without their mental connection he couldn’t ignore the way that Naruto spoke of his old classmates and their talents. It didn’t take much to realize that Naruto saw each strength of those around him as his own weakness.

Yugito had obviously seen that and she’d created the challenge to force Naruto to overcome his own fear…the fear that he wasn’t good enough…wasn’t special enough to accomplish what he wanted to. 

Staring at Naruto’s prone body, Gaara frowned because he didn’t understand how Naruto could be unaware of his own potential.

Even now as the boy tried the jutsus that Yugito had presented him with, Gaara could feel Naruto’s chakra swelling and ebbing as Naruto learned how much was needed for each jutsu.

Any normal shinobi wouldn’t even be able to move after the second jutsu but Naruto had already worked his way through seventeen and he still didn’t see what was right in front of his face.

“How about that one?” Naruto panted; sweat dripping from his temples into his hair.

Yugito blinked one eye open, staring down at Naruto from her usual perch in the tree.

“Was it playing to your strength?” Yugito inquired for the seventeenth time.

Naruto glowered up at her. “I already told you, I don’t have a special strength. Nobody taught me the things I needed to know. The only strength I have is the fact that I won’t give up and I won’t be beaten!”

“That’s two strengths but not what I’m asking for,” Yugito sighed, sitting up. “Imagine this; I’ve taken all your determination, what’s left?”

Naruto frowned, “You can’t take my determination.”

“But if I did. If I sucked all the strength from your body if there was nothing else…”

“I’d have Gaara,” Naruto snorted, beaming at Gaara when he stared at him blankly, making sure to express just how enthusiastic he felt about the idea of being a back-up plan.

Naruto returned the stare for a moment before he gaped at Gaara like he was seeing him for the first time.

“I’d have Gaara,” he repeated, pushing himself upright. “And Gaara has me because even if you take my determination and all my strength I won’t stop fighting for Gaara until there’s nothing left because love means never letting go, believe it!”

 Yugito grinned down at them, her eyes flickering from Naruto to meet Gaara’s and it wasn’t until that very moment that Gaara realized that Naruto’s challenge might not have been just for Naruto.

Gaara didn’t think about the thing curling in his chest either. It was probably just another of Shukaku’s tricks.

“There’s also the fact that you’re basically a walking chakra storage system,” Yugito mused breaking whatever semblance of a moment Gaara was having.

“That’s the dumb fox not me!” Naruto shouted, shaking his fist at the woman.

Yugito rolled her eyes, “Yes but if that dumb fox had been in anyone else he’d have burned them out by now especially with the jutsus you’ve been trying.”

Naruto gaped at her, “You tried to kill me.”

“I’m widening your chakra net,” Yugito shot back.

“By trying to kill me!”

Gaara rubbed at his temples. At least the warm feeling in his chest was gone now.

*O*

“Hey, Yugito-sensei, how did you get your village to let you stay out here with us?” Naruto questioned, prodding at the waves of sand that flowed through the air as Gaara’s concentration wavered.

Yugito had challenged him to hone his control but the exercise was less of a challenge and more of a battle with Shukaku, who was in fine form.

Gaara’s ears were still ringing with the last howl of rage that Shukaku had released as Gaara wrestled control over their element from it. He didn’t know how Naruto could still sound so calm despite the internal screaming and gnashing of teeth that was happening in both their heads.

Yugito shrugged, crossing her legs before her.

“They want her to gain our loyalty,” Gaara responded, blinking slowly when Yugito beamed at him.

“What?!” Naruto yelped, glancing between the two of them with a frown. “But you haven’t…I mean…”

“I haven’t tried,” Yugito noted, her smile turning sly. “Or maybe I have tried and you just haven’t noticed it yet.”

Naruto looked horrified at the thought and Gaara used the distraction to coat another strand of the blond’s hair in sand. He’d gotten twenty so far and Naruto was still none the wiser.

Yugito huffed, “That’s my official mission. To convert you two and make you part of my village’s assets without formally doing so.”

“But you just gave that away,” Naruto pointed out.

“Because children aren’t meant to be weapons,” Yugito responded, her voice as cold as her expression.

“My father wouldn’t agree.”

Gaara almost flinched at the surge of anger from Naruto but it was tempered by a wave of something that felt like possession and something else…something warm that surrounded Gaara like the sand.

“Fathers are very good at making grand decisions and sweeping statements but I think we should look more at mothers,” Yugito mused. “Each of our mothers knew that their child was strong enough to contain something that could raze our villages to the ground. They didn’t even truly know us, didn’t know the type of person we’d be but they still had belief in our potential. That’s why we should look to our mothers because they gave us two gifts, our lives and their faith. Maybe it’s time to stop focusing on what’s locked inside us and start looking at what we could become.”

“I’m going to become the greatest shinobi ever, believe it!” Naruto shouted, his face set with his determination but not even the fire in his eyes could disguise the tears on his cheeks.

Gaara wondered if his mother would be proud of who he’d become.

Glancing at Naruto, he raised a single grain of sand then another and another using them to wipe the other boy’s tears before Naruto could notice what he was doing.

He ignored Yugito’s smile, he was just doing what she’d told him to do…honing his control.

*O*

Yugito scratched at her cheek as she read the missive she’d received.

Naruto was trying to read it over her shoulder and failing badly while Gaara glowered after the nin who’d delivered the thing.

It would have been so easy to let the sand trickle into the man’s mouth and crush his throat from the inside and Gaara had almost done it when he saw the way that the shinobi’s eyes flickered over them, barely disguised disgust lingering in his gaze when he looked at Naruto.

It was only Yugito’s presence and Naruto’s excitement that stayed his hand.

But the sand didn’t care about distance, soon the man would be too far away for anyone to hear him scream and a shinobi died every day, one more wouldn’t make much of a difference. Gaara’s gourd rattled at the thought.

“Eh?!” Naruto squawked and Gaara read the missive through Naruto’s eyes.

“A three-man team, huh?” Yugito mused, squinting at the sheet before glancing at them. “You don’t have any other run away friends we can ask, do you?”

Naruto opened his mouth and Gaara slapped a sheet of sand over it.

The look that Naruto shot his way spoke of utter betrayal but Gaara would rather clone Naruto than go along with his plan.

The candidate was fine; it was the other that Gaara didn’t want around him.

Shukaku was just learning to subside and allow Gaara a few hours of meditation a day, it was the closest thing to sleep he’d experienced in years. The last thing he needed was Zabuza’s bloodthirst to provoke his own.

*O*

Gaara watched as Yugito stabbed a kunai through Zabuza’s hand.

The only thing that kept him from trying to kill both of them was Haku’s echoing sigh.

“He’s not usually like this,” the older boy offered up.

“Yugito-sensei is always like this,” Naruto grinned, as if that was a good thing.

In the back of Gaara’s head the Kyuubi let out a huff of laughter that had mists of chakra curling from Naruto’s nostrils.

“Your kid’s leaking,” Zabuza pointed out, apparently unbothered by the knife that was still embedded in his hand.

Yugito’s fingers twitched like she wanted to add to the kunai before she rounded on Naruto who had one hand clamped over his nose, trying to stop even more of the mist that was leaking from between his fingers.

“It said a three-man team, it said nothing about having any teachers,” Haku noted and Gaara stared at the boy. Perhaps Haku wouldn’t be such a bad choice after all.

*O*

“The rules are simple,” Yugito told them sternly. “Haku is the team leader…”

“…because he doesn’t really want to kill anyone,” Naruto cut in with a wounded expression that would have better suited someone who hadn’t tried to _eat_ their last opponent.  

Yugito ignored him, “Zabuza will not enter the village at any point unless the situation is absolutely dire.”

“I really think you should define dire,” Haku pointed out.

“Running out of food could be dire,” Naruto noted and Gaara resisted the urge to rub at his temple as Naruto’s usual mantra of **“ _ramen, ramen, ramen,”_** started in his head.

“I define dire,” Zabuza muttered, and the pull on the bandages said that he was smirking, something that Yugito had clearly noticed if her glower was anything to go by.

“All three of you will pass or else,” Yugito finished.

“Your speech wasn’t very rousing,” Gaara observed, cocking his head when Yugito seemed to deflate.

“It wasn’t a speech, it was the rules.”

“A stupid set of rules,” Zabuza snorted and Yugito rounded on him.

“Would you like to need more bandages?”

“Are you offering to share?” Zabuza shot back and before they could start fighting again Gaara separated them with a wall of sand.

“I’m starting to feel like the only adult here,” Haku sighed.

“Hey, Gaara-chan, can we get some ramen? I used to go to this shop and Teuchi and Ayame made the best ramen and they never made me sick or kicked me out. You’d really like it…you too Haku. Plus I can show you where I used to live. Do you think my plant died? I could bring it with us if it didn’t…”

Gaara let Naruto’s words wash over him as a familiar pressure grasped his hand, the sand shifting to make space for Naruto’s skin.

Behind them the noise of the fight died away and Gaara didn’t look back to see who’d won.

It was strange to think that Yugito actually saw Zabuza as a friend. Before Zabuza would have tried to kill her, just like Gaara would have tried to kill all of them.

The thought made Gaara’s eyes cut to Naruto who was still rambling on.

It still surprised Gaara how much difference one person could make.


	3. Skin (I'll Be Thinking About You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grief can make monsters of the best of us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A snapshot into the future and the past.

***After***

 

Gaara kept his eyes on the river, watching as it ebbed and flowed around Naruto’s form.

He wasn’t sure where the idea to go fishing had come from but the second that they’d lost sight of Haku Naruto had all but flung himself into the water and Gaara had let him.

Haku would be back and they’d move on soon…if nothing else it had kept Naruto quiet and fed.

But that time was gone now and much like most things that caught Naruto’s attention, the idea of fishing had lost its shine.

Gaara didn’t flinch as Naruto erupted from the water, as abruptly as he’d made for it in the first place, shaking himself like a dog.

The excess water was soaked up by the sand without thought.

It was peaceful…the words bloomed like a flower in his mind and it had Gaara’s eyes dropping to the wraps that covered his hands.

The stains on them were brown now and could be mistaken for something other than blood but the memory of them would never fade.

Clenching his fingers into fists Gaara exhaled slowly, ignoring Shukaku’s low wail in the back of his mind.

They’d mourned but a wound that large would never truly heal.

Bright blue eyes appeared in front of him and Gaara suppressed the urge to sigh as Naruto tugged him to his feet.

He’d long since given up on the urge to train Naruto out of that particular habit, partially because he wouldn’t move if he didn’t want to but mostly because Naruto would never do something that Gaara didn’t give him permission for.

He could still feel the question brushing against his mind through the bond and he let his muscles go lax as Naruto pulled him closer until they were inches apart.

The fact that Naruto was taller than him now was something that irked Gaara at times but not in moments like this. Not when Naruto had to bend to press their foreheads together.

“You’re not supposed to be sad,” Naruto whined petulantly.

Gaara closed his eyes because he didn’t need to see the pout to know it was there.

“I’m not sad,” he responded, honestly because he wasn’t. It just hurt, like his lungs were too heavy for his body and the air he needed to breathe.

Naruto huffed out a sigh at that and when Gaara inhaled he could taste the Kyuubi’s chakra on his tongue.

“You’re sad and you know it,” Naruto offered up, one hand sliding down to cover Gaara’s and he almost couldn’t feel the touch through the bandages. “She wouldn’t want you to be sad.”

Gaara bit back the words on his tongue. If she hadn’t wanted him to be sad then maybe she should have survived…they both should have.

He didn’t say the words but Naruto heard them nonetheless and Gaara clenched his teeth together as Naruto’s arm encircled him, rocking them slowly from side to side.

Gaara didn’t even notice that he was holding onto Naruto’s shirt until his fingers started to hurt.

“Nothing’s going to hurt you again, believe it,” Naruto hissed out like it hadn’t hurt him too, like he hadn’t almost levelled a village in his grief.

“Nothing will hurt either of us again,” Gaara vowed.

He’d devour them all before it came to that.

In the backdrop of his mind Shukaku’s wails deepened and twisted into snarls at the promise.

Nothing would hurt them again.

 

***Before***

 

Gaara didn’t know what he’d expected of Konoha but the simple people walking down the street, calling greetings to each other and smiling wasn’t it.

Naruto would never admit it but Gaara had seen the village through his eyes first, he’d seen the open hostility and hatred that had coloured the blue skies grey in Naruto’s head.

The people had become twisted caricatures of themselves, smiles curved downwards whenever they caught sight of him and teeth bared like wolves.

 In Naruto’s head the village had been a living nightmare, no matter how much he hid it behind his smiles and joviality so to see it now, it made Shukaku purr in the back of Gaara’s head, made the sand sing for blood.

“Gaara-chan,” Naruto whined, bumping their shoulders together and the thought shattered as Gaara turned to face his smiling companion.

Naruto’s smile was dim but his grip on Gaara’s fingers was firm and Gaara let that pull him back, he focused on the weariness that dulled Naruto’s eyes instead of the bloodlust he could still feel clawing at the pit of his stomach.

“Are they always like this?” Haku inquired, his eyes darting around and Naruto shrugged, the move tugging Gaara’s hand upwards just a tiny bit.

Naruto frowned, “Yeah, I think so?”

Haku wrinkled his nose, his gaze sharpening, “I don’t like it,” he informed them, his tone bland. “People who smile this much usually have something to hide.”

“You smile a lot!” Naruto protested and Haku levelled him with an indulgent look.

“Precisely,” he responded more genuine smile gracing his lips. “Now, weren’t you going to show us your great ramen shop?” he prodded, smirking before replacing his mask when Naruto started ranting, his footsteps speeding up until he was all but running.

Gaara carefully placed several grains of sand in Haku’s underclothes as he was tugged down the street.

After all misery loved company.

*O*

“Teuchi-san!”

Gaara didn’t react to Naruto’s enthusiastic greeting though that was mostly because he’d already plugged his ears with sand so Naruto’s voice was muffled down to a whisper.

Haku’s grimace said that he hadn’t been quite as lucky.

Gaara didn’t have long to dwell on the satisfaction curling in his chest as the curtains shifted and a young woman stepped out from the back of the shop, her eyes scanning the empty restaurant until they alighted on Naruto.

Gaara was more than used to people pretending to be happy to see him while they hid their disgust behind fake smiles…his uncle had taught him well.

The smile on this woman’s face wasn’t fake; or if it was then she was a better actress than Gaara was willing to give her credit for.

“Naruto,” she whispered, one hand coming up to cover her mouth as her eyes filled with tears. “Papa!”

“Ayame, what are you hollering about no…” the man that emerged from behind the woman froze, his words trailing off as he gaped at Naruto.

“Yo, Teuchi-san!” Naruto greeted and Gaara marvelled at Naruto’s ability to bulldoze through anything that wasn’t actively trying to kill him. Things like emotions stood no chance in the face of Naruto’s disposition.

“Yo?” Teuchi spluttered, “You’ve been gone for almost two years. We thought you were dead, Iruka-san has been worrying himself sick and all you have to say for yourself is ‘yo’?” he demanded, his brows furrowed and the only thing that kept Gaara from ripping his tongue out of his head was Naruto’s beaming grin.

Naruto scratched at his cheek, “I’m hungry?” he offered up and Teuchi collapsed against the counter with his head in his hands.

“Ramen?”

The words were muffled but not hidden because Naruto dragged Gaara even closer.

“Yeah, give me three bowls of your best…” Naruto paused here squinting at Gaara; it was a look that Gaara replied to with a few grains of sand in Naruto’s eyes.

Absentmindedly Naruto brushed them away, “Make that three bowls for me, one for Haku and like half a bowl for Gaara.”

“Half a bowl?” Ayame inquired, busying herself with the menus in her hand though from the way that the plastic was curling beneath her grip, she wasn’t doing a good job at distracting herself.

Naruto hummed, “Gaara, doesn’t eat much.”

Shukaku cackled at the words and Gaara narrowed his eyes to hide a wince as the Tanuki’s voice echoed in his head.

Ayame waved them to a table and took their order as Teuchi watched Naruto.

“Are you going to stay?” the man finally asked and Naruto shrugged, picking at the grains of sand that were making their usual cross over journey from Gaara’s skin to his own.

“We’re here for the chūnin exams,” Haku offered up, head tilted to the side as he observed Teuchi from behind the mask.

“Oh,” Teuchi whispered, nodding more to himself than at any of them. “I’m glad you’re back, anyway but if you don’t stay…I’ll be glad about that too. This place isn’t good for you,” he glanced up then, meeting Naruto’s eyes with a sad smile. “Just don’t forget to say goodbye before you go running off again. You gave me more grey hairs than I deserved.”

Naruto blinked, not saying a word as he stared at Teuchi but Gaara could feel  the way the words curled in his chest, like Naruto had expected thing to have changed.

Teuchi shifted uncertainly, “You’ve grown too and you look happy, Iruka-san won’t know what to do with the new you.”

Naruto’s smile was a bit less watery this time, “That’s probably Gaara’s fault. He made me eat vegetables…”

“Less made you and more forced it down your throat when you weren’t trying to guzzle ramen,” Haku muttered and the wounded look Naruto turned on him made Teuchi’s lips quirk up into a smile.

“Ramen is the food of the Gods,” Naruto hissed, half-rising from his seat and Gaara had to fight not to roll his eyes right out of his head because this was coming from the person whose main food source was human.

“And you’re not a God so eating something else won’t kill you,” Haku retorted.

“You don’t even deserve any ramen after that,” Naruto groused. “I should eat it all…”

“No,” Gaara cut in, blankly staring at Naruto when he turned to him.

“But Gaara-chan,” Naruto whined.

“Gaara-chan?” Teuchi chocked out and Naruto’s smile was so wide it looked like it hurt.

“Gaara and I have a special relationship…”

“He’s going to kill you in your sleep and I’m going to pretend I didn’t notice,” Haku commented as Gaara glowered at Naruto.

Teuchi snorted and Gaara glanced at the man only to find him watching them fondly. “You sound like my family.”

Naruto spluttered at that but Haku just hummed.

“I’ve always wanted little brothers,” he commented and those were definitely tears in Naruto’s eyes.

If he started crying Gaara was going to drown both of them with the ramen.

Watching Naruto cry made his chest hurt and Gaara hated it.


End file.
